The previous article (decoding the child code 1) We reviewed the art of communication with the child and how to understand the needs and feelings before what I give him solutions and guidance link to the article of what he read
And the article that God willing will be complementary to the first article and presented examples and different attitudes faced with the child
Some principles of communication:
- From event to relationship
Why Baiji child and Bihklna a particular event has become with him or asked him, it is better not to respond to the event, but to the implied relationship .. How?
Mona (6 years) recently complained that she received gifts less than her brother .. The mother was an acumen that denied the complaint of her daughter, and what I guessed her brother, her brother is greater and deserve more .. And promised, I am pleased I will give you more gifts
The mother knew that the child was deeply interested in the relationship, and that he was a lover, that the interest in him was greater (meaning he needed more attention for more gifts). The mother said to her daughter:
Do you wonder if I love you I love my brother? Without adding another phrase, the mother hugged her daughter and then responded with a smile of wonder and pleasure and was the sweet, logical and inexpensive end (more gifts)
- From the event to the sensations
In addition to the event, it is useful not to respond to the event itself but to the feelings surrounding it (of course, depending on the quality of the event or situation)
Marwa (7 years) returned to the house and temperament Maakr and Mnktda Ktir, pushed her friend Rasha from above the pavement and signed with the pit of Melina Palmy and her mother instead of what you ask about the details of the event .. She responded to her feelings and said:
- Sure, my annoyance and my emotions!
- I am sure I am angry at the children to do the ugly behavior
Marwa answered yes .. And what the mother said:
- Are you afraid that they work with you to behave?
Marwa responded to the design: Let them dry, and pull them away with me and run away with my palms and mud
And Marwa has been pumping you on the picture followed by her mind about that position .. The situation was funny and interesting, but if the mother was offensive to the event to me and gave boring sermons of self-defense, how was the end⁉
- From year to year
The child does not tell us about himself, it is not pleasant to respond with approval or disapproval, but with details to bear the child is far beyond what is expected.
When the child said: - I Mu shared mathematics
So what do you know if they move: - Oh you are disappointed with the numbers!
Or Tglo: You share a bad Mo mathematics (Shoshana Heck)
And if you study more, make better!
Mtay Haye hurt his personal respect and reduce his confidence only
Child's voice: - I'm not good at mathematics ..
We can meet with seriousness and understanding:
- Math Moashi is really easy / - Some issues are difficult to solve / - Teacher times with the questions and tests / - Confirmed the time of the test that the time hard - / - We do not know that you work maximum you have even up / - If you did not get high grades Problem with your abilities at the end ..
Because the child is a negative opinion about himself, the best help we can provide is that we show that we are Moo, but their feelings and general implications, and .. And when the child feels that Ahlho Vahmino and keen to bad direction, Haddh ease the severity of the bad is followed by, and he tries all Love and motivation really does not do his best, Mu Ano imposed on him or Mgpur is doing his utmost (a lot of great difference)
Our job is to reflect the feelings of the child regardless of what is, without distorting or even beautifying, the clarity of the picture in relation to him and the knowledge of his feelings in the right form, so that the opportunity is available for him to take care of himself and to change himself and his actions.